Nature-Deficit-Disorder – by Gary S. Smolker

Live A Little

I’ve concluded that life is for living.

I have concluded that the best type of life for me is one in which I stop being afraid of wasting my time by going out or by going to new places or by meeting new people and instead that I should travel to new places, meet new people, have new experiences and learn new things while doing so.

Medicine Is A Way of Life.

In my opinion life is beautiful and how I live my life is either good medicine for me or poisonous.

The key to being “healthy” for me is knowing how to live.

I’ve found I can –

• Be Happy, Healthy and Full of Wonderment.
• Relieve stress, regenerate my spirit, laugh and be joyful.
• Go out in “nature” and see directly in front of my eyes that all living things (plants, animals, fish and fowl] that live naturally in harmony with their nature flourish.

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park

I recently went on a trip to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in North Carolina and Tennessee with my three adult daughters.

One of the great things I discovered while being high up the Great Smoky Mountains National Park is that there is no cell phone reception there.

Consequently it was a place where I could relax and (re)connect with nature.

While I was in the Smoky Mountains I was able to decompress, relieve stress and regenerate my spirit as a result of  being in nature with no distractions – as a result of being in a place where there was no cell phone service.

I personally experienced the value of (a) breathing fresh air, (b) seeing clear clean running water in streams creeks and rivers, (c) seeing picturesque waterfalls, (d) hiking in pristine woods and (e) solitude.

As a result of “being “n nature” without the distractions imposed on me by cell phones, Internet connection, talking texting or emailing I was able to see clearly the way things work “in nature” and as a result of that after I returned from my “retreat” in nature with my daughters I have been able think clearly without distraction about several things of concern to me.

Additionally, my trip to the Smokies was an amazing bonding experience with my daughters, nature and myself.

During the entire time I was in the Smoky Mountains I was happy, healthy, full of wonderment and stress-free.

The kinds of experiences I had on my trip to the Smoky Mountains have provided memories which I will enjoy for years to come and a reference point and base line to use when thinking about things in my daily life that are important to me.

The experiences I had and the observations I made on that trip have increased ability to think many fold about how I spend my time and other resources and about medical, financial, family and emotional issues of great concern to me.

The Area In and Around the Great Smoky Mountains National Park

The whole area in and around the Smoky Mountains is quite stunning – light traffic on the freeways, lush green all around the hills and in the mountains.

“Nature” is preserved in a pristine state in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

People Who Know How to Live

The people I met in the areas in and around the Smoky Mountains during my vacation/retreat in the Smoky Mountains with my three daughters know how to live.

They live rustic sensible refined remarkable and somewhat “funky” lives.

Every one I met was good -natured, calm, friendly, hospitable and grounded, and seemed to be alert and happy.

The people I saw and met in cafes, restaurants, and grocery stores during my sojourn in and around the Smoky Mountains were striking different from the people I typically see in similar places in and around Los Angeles.

The people I met in the South (in and around the Smoky Mountains) were all very calm, relaxed and laid back.

I didn’t meet or see anyone during my sojourn in and around the Smoky Mountains who was up tight, anxious, or stressed out.

Below is a photograph I took of a man a man I met in the “Lil Black Bear Cafe” in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.

I’ve never seen anyone wearing a T-shirt in Los Angeles like the T-shirt the man in the photograph above is wearing.

By the way, the chocolate Bear Claw served in the “Lil Black Bear Cafe” in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee is something to write home about.  I ate one.  See photos below of the Bear Claw I ate in the “Lil Black Bear Cafe.”

I survived eating the Bear Claw pictured above.

I purchased a T-shirt to celebrate my accomplishment.

See photograph of the T-shirt I bought.

The people I met, and the culture and way of life I observed, in and around the Smoky Mountains was tremendously different from the culture I experience every day in Los Angeles.

I think people in the South (at least the people I met and interacted with) are more “natural” and more in tune with their core human nature that people in and around Los Angels that I see when I go out to eat or to a grocery store or to any other public place in Los Angeles.

Below is a photograph of a man I met in a grocery store in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and a close up photograph of the T-shirt that man was wearing when I saw and met him.

I’ve never seen anyone in Los Angeles wearing a T-shirt like that.

 

Popularity of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park is the most popular park in the National Park System.

Ten million people per year visit the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

Everyone Needs A Perfect Place to Think

Everyone needs a perfect place to think without distraction, a retreat.

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park is such a place.

All four of us (Leah, Judi, Terra and me) found the Smoky Mountains to be a perfect place to think.

My Search for A Clear Mind

The search for a clear mind is one of my fundamental goals.

The search for a “clear mind” is the fundamental goal of “all” creative and highly productive people.

During my trip to the Smoky Mountains, the solitude I experienced and my interaction with (a) my daughters, (b) nature and (c) the people I met gave me a clear mind.

My Trip to the Smoky Mountains

I left my in Encino, California on May 14, 2016 and visited the Great Smoky Mountains in North Carolina and Tennessee for ten days, from May 14 to May 24, 2016, with my three daughters Leah, Judi and Terra.

As a result of taking my trip to the Smoky Mountains, I feel totally connected to life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

It is clear to me that the state of my energy, my health and of my over-all-well-being are dependent on being connected to nature.

The Best Way to Live

Life is about choice.

I advocate relieving stress, being healthy and living a creative down to earth purposeful gratifying meaningful healthy life.

I’ve found that the best way for me to live is by being connected simultaneously with my natural core and nature.

I’ve discovered it is okay for me to enjoy a glass of wine, to have a beer, to have a shot of whiskey; it is not crazy or a waste of my time to go for hikes in woods, to do yoga, to read a book, to think and reflect in solitude, or to go to car shows, or to take photographs with my iPhone of whatever strikes my fancy, and that it is beneficial for me yo travel to new places to meet new people and to see new things.

In my opinion going to new places, meeting new people, connecting to nature, and having new experiences should be part of everyone’s life goals.

As a result of my recent vacation in the Smoky Mountains I have concluded that –

1. I will achieve clearer thinking and better health by connecting myself to nature.
2. My live is energized by experiencing a sense of oneness in the energy flow I make when I am in the moment.
3. My life is about making choices.
4. The best “medicine” for me is living the way of right relationship – I found that living a healthy  LIFE is about doing that.

Failure and Making Mistakes Are A Natural Feature of Life and of Making Progress and of Making Something New

Creativity is a resource we continually draw upon to make something from nothing, to make the non-existent come into being.

Part of being healthy is to not be afraid of trying something new, or trying to do something new.

Inevitably active alive and creative people experience failure and make mistakes.

Healthy people realize mistakes are not a necessary evil.

Mistakes are an inevitable consequence of doing something new, and as such, they such be seen as being valuable; without them, we’d have no originality.

Mistakes and failures are learning experiences.

Think of failure like learning to ride a bike; it isn’t conceivable that anyone could learn to ride a bike without making mistakes – without toppling over a few times.

Personality Plus

The first place I landed on my way to the Smoky Mountains was in Asheville, North Carolina.

Asheville is known as “Beer City, USA” because it has so many microbreweries.

We went to Asheville first because my daughter Leah is a beer connoisseur.

I saw “good humor” and “personality plus”, and experienced “positive energy” and “social commentary” everywhere I went during my three day stay in Asheville, North Carolina.

The people I met in Asheville had good nature, and were happy, hospitable, calm, and grounded.

It was pleasant to interact with each person I interacted with in Asheville.

Each of them exhibited a good sense of humor.

Below is a picture of a sign I saw posted in the window of the “12 Bones Smokehouse” in Asheville, North Carolina.

That sign made me laugh when I saw it.

By the way, the “12 Bones Smokehouse” is President Obama’s favorite rib joint.

While in Asheville I saw another which made me laugh.

See picture of that sign below.

It is a sign on the wall of a place where you can self-wash your dog.

The Most Famous Place in Asheville, North Carolina: Biltmore House & Gardens

I love chocolate.

During my trip to the Smoky Mountains, I visited the most famous place in Asheville, North Carolina: the Biltmore House.

The Biltmore House was built in 1895 by George Vanderbilt.

It is a 250 room house.

It is situated on a 8,000 acre estate.

It has gardens and trails, a conservatory, a bass pond, a boathouse, lawns and woods.

In “the house” itself, there are restaurants, a courtyard market, a bake shop, a ice cream parlor, and specialized stores for shoppers and highly specialized shopping experiences.

For shopping there is a store called “Christmas Past”, a store called “Bookbinder’s”, a store called “Carriage House”, a store called “Confectionery”, a store called “Toymaker’s”, and a store called “A Gardener’s Place.”

My favorite part of the house is the candy store (the confectionery).

I am a fan of tasty chocolate and good advertising.

My First Most Favorite Experience at Biltmore House

My favorite experience, while I was touring the Biltmore House, was seeing what was printed on boxes of chocolate for sale in the “Confectionery.”

See photos below.

I also love cupcakes.

I was thrilled when I saw the package below in the confectionery, advertising cupcakes, yum.

My Second Most Favorite Experience at the Biltmore House

My second best experience at Biltmore House was looking at the exotic flowers growing in the Conservatory at the Biltmore House.

Below are photographs of exotic flowers I saw growing in the Conservatory at the Biltmore House.

My Third Most Favorite Experience at the Biltmore House

My third best experience at the Biltmore House was looking at a group of flowers growing in a pond above the gardens.  Those flowers are shown in the photograph below.

Character and Assertive Individuality Have Been Alive and Well in the Great Smoky Mountains in Eastern Tennessee for Many Years

For various reasons the Great Smoky Mountains have always been a very special place.

The people who lived in the Smoky Mountains in the recent past were famous for hiding their stills from tax collectors and for selling their homemade distilled spirits when it was against US Federal Law to do so.

Being surrounded by natural beauty and making homemade distilled spirits and having a great down to earth sense of humor has been a way of living in and around the Great Smoky Mountains for generations.

When it was illegal to manufacture or sell liquor, certain people [who lived in and around the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee were called Moonshiners and also called bootleggers] manufactured and sold homemade distilled spirits nicknamed “moonshine”; they manufactured and sold “homemade” wine and whisky (“moonshine”) in violation of federal law.

Doing that earned them a “romanticized” place in the history of the United States.

Today, it is not against federal law to manufacture or sell distilled spirits.

However, in an attempt to take advantage of romantic and nostalgic feelings about “moonshine” and “moonshiners” , major distillers pretend to sell “moonshine” — and promote the sales of their products (wine and whiskey) with sales messages associating their products to individualistic rebel character traits romantically associated with moonshine and bootleggers.

These messages are printed on ancillary merchandise – soft good items – such as T-shirts, pillows, and dish towels sold in “Moon Shine” stores and boutiques in Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge Tennessee.

For examples, at their stores in Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge the “Old Smoky Tennessee Moonshine” company provides free moonshine tastings, live music, distillery tours and sells “moonshine” (jars of whiskey) as well as T-shirts, Sweat Shirts, and sundry other items.

Master Enjoyment of A Glass of Wine Because You Have Worked Hard and Traveled Far

Wine is a symbol.

The wine industry in Tennessee has made a successful effort to have me associate drinking wine with Individuality, Character, Relaxing, Relieving Stress and Being A Fun and Wise Person.

In their boutique wine and whiskey tasting stores near the Smoky Mountains their customer (me) can’t help but associate Being Fun with Drinking Wine, Wine Drinking.

Below are pictures of miscellaneous soft good items imprinted with messages celebrating and encouraging the consumption of wine.

I recently took the pictures below in a so called wine tasting store in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Notice that each of the items shown in the photographs below cleverly delivers the message that a person who drinks wine is a fun person.

Each message has a “fun”, “be fun”, “have fun” emotional arc I relate to.

I had “fun” reading each message.

I smiled when I read each message.

I took each of the above photographs on May 23, 2016 at the “Bootleggers Home Made Wine” store in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Gatlinburg is a small town located at the foot of the Smoky Mountains in Eastern Tennessee.

The Majesty of Nature

Seeing nature in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park is a spiritual as well as a physical and mental experience.

I can’t imagine any person with sight not being able to visually spiritually and mentally experience the majesty of nature on display in the Smoky Mountains and our deep rooted connection with nature.

Below is a series of photographs I took of the Smoky Mountains behind a layer of clouds I observed from my Majestic View cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, at 6:30 a.m.

Note: the clouds in front of the Smoky Mountains look like smoke coming up from and rising up from the Smoky Mountains.

 

 

Next are photographs I took of the same view from the cabin with the Majestic View four hours later at 10:40 a.m. – after the morning mist and clouds in front of the Smoky Mountains began dissipating, then dissipated and then disappeared.

Below are photos taken later in the day.

Below are photographs I took at sunset while standing on the deck outside the kitchen at my cabin.

More Than 40 Note Worthy Waterfalls

There are over 2,000 miles of sparkling rivers, prongs and branches and over 40 noteworthy falls in the Smoky Mountains.

During our time together in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, my three daughters Leah (age 28), Judi (age 31) and Terra (age 45) and I hiked together to several of those noteworthy waterfalls.

Below is a series of photographs I took at one of those waterfalls.

The first photograph is of one of those waterfalls.

 

The second photograph is of my one of my daughters standing next to that waterfall.

 

 

The third, fourth and fifth photographs below are photographs of my daughter standing behind that waterfall.

 

 

 

Below is a photographs I took of my two youngest daughters standing in front of another waterfall.

Below is a photograph of my youngest daughter with me in front of that waterfall.

Below is a photograph of me standing in front of that waterfall.

Below is a close up photograph of of the top of that waterfall.

Below is a photograph of another water fall in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park we hiked to.

Sparkling Rivers Prongs and Branches

Professionally taken photographs:

My photographs:

Hiking To Abrams Falls

Below is a picture of my youngest daughter Leah (age 28) Leah took of herself while Leah and I were hiking together through the woods in the Smoky Mountains to Abrams Falls.

It took us five hours of hiking through woods in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park to get to the Abrams Falls.

At Abrams Falls water water with the volume of a river plunges 25 feet into a large pool.

The force of the fall throws spray over 50 feet into rhododendron and hemlock on the bank opposite the trail we hiked on to get to the falls.

The deep pool under the falls has a very strong undercurrent.

A sign near the falls warns people not to swim in the pool under the falls – swimmers have drowned.  See sign below.

People are also warned to be aware of bears near the falls.  See sign below.

Below is a photograph I took of myself in front of Abrams Falls.

 

Below is a series of photographs of Abrams Falls.

Messages Printed on T-Shirts Present Moonshine as The Nectar of Pure Unadulterated Living

In Gatinburg, several breweries give free tastings in addition to selling “moonshine (whiskey)”; they also sell  T-shirts on which are printed provocative messages.

The photographs below were taken by me in the “Old Smoky Tennessee Moonshine’s” store on the Parkway, in Gatinburg, Tennessee on Monday night, May 23, 2016, after Leah and I finished our hike to Abrams Falls.

Knoxville Vibe

All of us (Leah, Judi, Terra and Me) got back to our homes by flying out of Knoxville Airport.

Leah and I spent the morning looking around the Art District and the Old City District of Knoxville.

Both are very cool places.

Below are photographs I took which express the “come on in” attitude I experienced in and around the Art District in Knoxville, Tennessee.

I Saw Art and Beauty Everywhere During My Trip to the Smoky Mountains

At the Curious Dog in Old City Knoxville, Tennessee

See photograph below I took of a  booth in the “Curious Dog” in the Old Town section of Knoxville, Tennessee on May 24, 2016.

Photos below are close ups of sections of the mural in the photograph above.

Photograph of a guy sitting in that booth.

Photograph I took the sign on the exterior street side of the entry door to the “Curious Dog.”

Paintings on the Two Walls in A Dead End Alley in the Old Town Section of Knoxville, Tennessee

While walking around the Old Town section of Knoxville on May 24, 20167, with my daughter Leah, we found ourselves walking down a blind alley, an alley the “dead-ended”, an alley which had no exit.

Below are photographs of paintings I saw painted on the two walls in that alley.

Chair In A Shop in the Chicago O’Hare Airport Terminal

Below is a photograph I took of a chair I saw in a shop in O’Hare Airport, Chicago, Terminal 1, Gate B-6, on May 24, 2016 as I was on my way to catch a connecting flight to Los Angeles International Airport, LAX.

I had started my journey home to Los Angeles from the Smoky Mountains on a flight departing from Knoxville Airport.

My trip home involved taking a plane from Knoxville Airport to O’Hare Airport in Chicago and then catching another plane at O’Hare Airport that flew me back to Los Angeles.

It took over 10 hours to get back home from the time I left the Knoxville Airport to the time my plane landed in Los Angeles at LAX, the airport in Los Angeles.

Art and Beauty Everywhere

On Saturday, June 4, 2016 I went to return a computer to the Apple Store at the Grove — a upscale shopping cent in Los Angeles.

While I was at the Grove I discovered there was an event, an auto show, at the Grove.

By the way, the Grove is located near the intersection of Third Street and Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles, California.

Of note to me, as a father of three adult women and a lover of women, I saw more women then men looking at the cars on display on the street at the auto show.

So much for the cliche that boys like cars and girls like dolls.

Below are pictures I took of three of the multitude of  “classic cars” I saw on the street, on display, as part of the car show at the Grove.

Really interesting: on the top two cars pictured above, the rear view mirror is strapped to the spare tire.

 

 

Save Yourself from Nature-Deficit-Disorder, Get Out: Visit The Great Smoky Mountains; Travel to, Visit and Explore New Places

The Smoky Mountains are one of the most bio-diverse places on earth.

According to the National Park Service over 18,000 different types of animals and plants live in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

Synchronous fireflies (Photinus carolinus) are one of 19 species of fireflies at Great Smoky Mountains National Park.  They are the only species in the Americas whose individuals can synchronize their flashing light patterns.

No one is sure why the fireflies flash synchronously.

The fireflies do not always flash in unison.

They glow in the dark.

They may flash in waves across hillsides, and at other times will flash randomly.

Synchrony occurs in short bursts that end with abrupt periods of darkness.

The Smoky Mountains is also the home of the “American Black Bear.”

More than 1,500 black bears live protected “in the wild” in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

More statistics:

• More than 1,500 different specifies of wild flowers are found in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, more than in any other North American National Park.
• More than 100 different species of trees grow there.
• More than 240 different species of birds have been spotted there.

The Southern Appalachians are one of the temperate zone’s hot spots for plants.  North of the tropics, only China has more species.

The climate of the park encompasses a range of conditions from warm to cold temperature, and rainfall is abundant everywhere.

Elevations in the park range from 850 feet to 6,643 feet.  As one moves from lower to high elevations the climate becomes cooler and wetter and cloud cover is more frequent.

Rainfall ranges from about 55 inches at low elevations to 90 inches on high peaks.

Differences in elevation and the ruggedness of the mountains – topographical features affect soil moisture – result in a vast variety of environments that produce a wide variety of vegetation.

Slope aspect, slope position and slope shape all combine to determine the amount of sunlight reaching a site, its warmth, and its ability to retain soil moisture.

Even if you stay in a narrow elevation range, the habitat changes dramatically.  And because habitat changes, the species of wildflowers and plants you see growing also varies.

As a result of its biodiversity and its closeness to population centers, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park is the most popular park in the National Park System; 10 million people visit the park each year.

The National Park Services maintains 380 miles of scenic roadways, 800 plus miles of trails and bridges, 9 front country campgrounds, and more than 100 back country campgrounds in the Smoky Mountains National Park.

ASIDE:

• The National Cancer Institute and other groups have repeatedly visited the Smokies to take, under permit, small plant samples, looking for new medicines.
• Fully, 25 percent of our prescription drugs contain at least one ingredient taken directly from a higher plant.
• The Cherokee had documented uses for 60 percent of the flora in the Smokies.
• Over 600 species from these mountains were or are still used as medicines by the Cherokee.
• Generations of trial and error of uses of plants in these mountains represent a refined knowledge of plant biochemistry and the potential for use.
• A recent study showed that study of traditional cultural use of plants in an area is a faster route to discovering new medicines than blind screening of all plants in an area.

The prime directive of all national parks is to preserve not only native species, but also the natural processes that maintain them.

This year (2016) the American National Park Service turned 100 years old.

THE ART OF LIVING

I see art everywhere and beauty everywhere.

I can’t wait to tell you about “the Swag” in Waynesville North Carolina; “Lil Black Bear Cafe” in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee; and, “Curious Dog” and a blind alley in Old Town Knoxville, Tennessee, which I will do in a future blog post article on the “Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange Blog.”

The Swag

Below is a photograph of what I found on my bed when I went to my room at the Swag.

There was also a backpack on my bed.  See photo below.

There was a note explaining the materials inside the backpack.  See photo below.

On one of the night stands besides the bed was a book of poetry.  See photo below.

I adopted “Mr. Rocky”, the Black Bear I found on my bed in my room at “the Swag.”

I can’t wait to tell you more about “the Swag.”

Conclusion

We determine the trajectory of our lives.

We should learn how to see.

We should live with our eyes wide open.

We should travel to places we have never been to before and meet people we have never met before.

Having/enjoying good health is a way of life.

 

 

Copyright © 2016 by Gary S. Smolker, All Rights Reserved

 

The Purity of Pure Emotional Communication, How We Shape Our Environment and How Our Environment Shapes Us – A Note from Gary S. Smolker to Rabbi Lazer Gurkow

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Lazer,

Pure Emotional Communication: Your words and phrases are noble, passionate and pure emotional communication.  I salute you.

The pictures below are an example of how one person can communicate saying “thank you” to another person without using any words,

One Way To Say Thank You

Below are photographs, taken in my living room, of a few objects-d-Arte an “artist” gave me as a gift, as a surprise gift.

Each of those “art objects” were made with the artist’s own hands, installed in my house by him and his son and a helper and given by him to me as a SURPRISE GIFT to me.

That is a powerful way of saying “thank you.”

————-

I got out of bed at 5:00 a.m. this morning because I have so many things to do and couldn’t stand staying in bed any longer.

I am working on several projects including

1. Writing an article about the Angels amongst us – how they inspire us when their holiness seeps out.
2. Writing something to be put in a “time capsule”  as a “history” of what was happening in 2016.
3. Writing an essay about what happens when our passion seeps out and ignites others, when the purity of our emotional communication and not it’s perfection is our goal.
   
4. Describing the Creative Energy I observe in the Los Angeles Metropolitan Region and Orange County as a harvest, as a living part of the festival of life.
   

Holiness Is Present Wherever We Are

On Thursday (Feb. 4, 2016), I met an extremely resilient woman, at  a restaurant in the City of Orange, in Orange County, California who told me her daughter was born blind.  That woman works in the restaurant where my daughter Judi took me to have lunch on Thursday, February 4, 2016.

Below is a picture of a bench for people to sit on while they are waiting to be seated in that restaurant.

 

Below is a picture of me standing next to the  sign at the entrance to that restaurant.

I STRONGLY BELIEVE we shape our environment and our environment shapes us.

That woman said to me: Isn’t it wonderful that the first face my daughter will see will be the face of G-d when she gets to heaven and the second face she will see is mine.

As one walks out of the front door my daughter Judi’s home one sees a chalk board with messages written by Judi in chalk on that board.  That chalk board is attached to the interior door post of the front door of Judi’s house.

Attached is a picture of that chalk board in Judi’s home with the messages Judi has written in chalk on the chalk board and a couple of pictures of Judi and me taken while we were at that restaurant.

Thank You

Below is a picture, taken in 1979, of Judi’s older sister Terra, when Terra was a little girl living in our artistically enriched home in Playa del Rey, California, a picture of Terra with me 36 years later, last Spring, in Manhattan after we had gone to see “The Lion King” on Broadway with her daughter Marissa, and an even more current picture of Terra, taken in November, 2015, of Terra holding a hockey stick for her son Nate, while Nate is putting on the protective gear Nate wears while playing hockey.  Nate is the goalie on the City of Marblehead’s hockey team.

The City of Marblehead, Massachusetts, was founded in 1629, or thereabouts.

Below is a picture of Judi’s younger sister Leah, taken last summer while Leah was standing next to a crater in the State of Israel.

By the way, each of my daughters take me to interesting places to break bread with them

Below is a picture of a place in Salem, Massachusetts, Terra took me to when I visited Terra last Thanksgiving.

I love coffee.

Below is a couple of pictures of a place in Santa Monica, California Leah took me recently.

Below is a picture of my sister Toby Salter and I sitting on our mother’s knee.

Below is a picture of our parents, Paul and Shayndy Smolker, dancing.

Thank you for inspiring me.

Gary

Gary S. Smolker, Publisher,
Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange Blog
www.garysmolker.wordpress.com

Copyright © 2016 Gary S. Smolker, All Rights Reserved

Enjoy Life. Be Full of Vivacity, Gracefulness and Sparkle. Enjoy All Those Things that Render Life Beautiful. – by Gary S. Smolker

I just finished reading “The Greater Journey” by David McCullough.

I love McCullough’s description of the essence of Virginie Amelie Avegno Gautreau:

Her beauty was distinctly different, almost eccentric….Yet the total effect, and particularly given her hourglass figure and her way of moving, was striking in the extreme, her appeal unmistakably seductive, as she well knew.

“She walks as Virgil speaks of a goddess – sliding – and seemed to take no steps.  Her head and neck undulated like that of a young doe, and something about her gave you the impression of infinite proportion, infinite grace, and infinite balance.  Every artist wanted to make her in marble or paint.”

Yesterday, I saw a woman who works at Aroma Bakery Cafe in Encino, California who fits that description and read the above description to her.

I told her that she glides, she doesn’t walk.

I asked her if she was aware of that.

She replied: “I used to be a runway model in Tennessee.

I asked two men, contentedly indulging in a refinded kind of loafing at an outside table while talking and looking at all around them, if they agreed – (a) that she glided, (b) she didn’t walk, (c) she was poetry in motion.

They agreed.

I also love David McCullough vignette – about William Dean Howells, the novelist and former editor of the Atlantic Monthly:

At a gathering in James McNeill Whistler’s garden in his temporary residence on the rue du Bac that had become something of a rendezvous for visiting Americans of like mind and interest – when a younger American came over to speak to him. –

“Suddenly, Howells turned and put his hand on the young man’s shoulder and said, ‘Oh, you are young, you are young – be glad of it and live.“‘

“Live all you can.  It’s a mistake not to.  It doesn’t matter what you do – but live.  This place makes it all come over me.  I see it now.  I haven’t done so – and now I’m old.  It’s too late.  It has gone past me – I’ve lost it.  You have time.  You are young.  Live.!”

Some years later this young man, Jonathan Sturges, told the story to Henry James, stressing the intensity with which Howells had spoken.  It became the germ of another James novel set in Paris,  The Ambassadors, in which the main character, in an outburst, delivers the same message in almost exactly the same words.

I also love McCullough’s historical note that alone at a desk in Paris, John Adams [Heny Adams’ great-grandfather] had written for those at home a statement of the purpose of his life that had come down in the family as a kind of summons:

“I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.  My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study paintings, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.”

I also throughly enjoyed reading McCullough’s description of Augustus Saint-Gaudens’s admiration of Henry Adams:

He had come to quite like Adams for all his prickly manner and obvious disdain for a large portion of humanity….But those who knew him knew how much heart and kindness were beneath the surface, and the brillance of mind.  Later, in a caricature relief, Sanint-Gaudens would portray Adamas as a porcupine – “Porcupine Poeticus” – to illustrate the “outward gruffness and inner gentleness” of the man.

I also enjoyed McCullough’s description of Adams’s day at Amiens with Saint-Gaudens.

For Adams his day at Amiens with Saint-Gaudens would serve as part of what he would later call his “education,” but not because of the cathedral.  As he was to write in his autobiographical The Education of Henry Adams:

“Not until they found themselves actually studying the scupture of the western portal, did it dawn on Adams’s mind that, for his purposes, Saint-Gaudens on the spot had more interest to him than the cathedral itself.”

As for Saint-Gauden’s two French friends, they were far too bourgeois for Adams, “conventional as death” and of no matter whatever.

I also enjoyed reading the French critic Louis de Fourcaud’s written judgment of John Sargent’s portrait of Amelie Gautreau in the Gazette des Beaus-Arts:

It is a masterpiece of characterization.  It should be kept in mind he wrote, that “in a person of this type everything relates to the cult of the self and the increasing concern to captivate those around her.

“Her sole purpose in life is to demonstrate by her skills in contriving incredible outfits which shape her and exhibit her and which she can carry off with bravado….”

The point of “The Greater Journey” is we need to live life fully.

We need to be a master of the art of living.

 

Copyright © 2015 by Gary S. Smolker

 

Panache, Feminism, What Women Want, How to Host A Dinner Party, How To Build the Future, Relationships and Other Topics Discussed in “How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are” and in “Zero to One” – a book report by Gary S. Smolker

Challenge

The challenge presented to you in this post is to answer the following questions.

1. What do men need to know about women?
2. What should fathers tell their sons about women?
3. What should fathers tell their daughters about women?
4. What should mothers tell their daughters about women?
5. What is feminism?
6. Where does feminism come from?
7. Where is feminism going?
8. Is there a psychology of personality?
9. What is the strongest human drive?
10. What is style?
11. What is a thinking man’s well-balanced attitude towards life?
12. What is a thinking woman’s well-balanced attitude towards life?
13. What do people need to know about the importance of relationships in their social and business lives?
14. What are your bad habits?
15. How are you going to build your future?
16. What should parents/teachers tell children/students about how to build the future?

PANACHE, ATTITUDE, THE ART OF BEING A WOMAN, BEING A BON VIVANT & FEMINISM

“How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are” is written with verve and wit, and is spiced by wisdom and style.

It is written by four Frenchwomen (Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline de Maigret and Sophie Mas).

It is about values, good taste, attitude, having fun, style, enjoying life as a continuing delight, and relationships.

It is about the art of living, from the point of view of four Frenchwoman who are Parisians and feminists.

According to Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie:

“Being a feminist and appreciating gallantry are not necessarily incompatible – on the contrary.  Making an effort, being attentive: it doesn’t take much and yet it makes a world of difference…When you encourage his chivalry, a man becomes more a man, a woman more a woman.

“And so its only normal that:

“He hold the door for you.

“He carry your suitcases and your shopping – a woman only ever carriers her handbag.

“He pour your wine; you should never have to touch the bottle.  It suits him – that way you’ll get drunk faster.”

THE SECRET OF MAKING A MAN KNOW YOU NEED HIM

“How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are” is a fun read, full of good advice, humor, humorous advice and witty social commentary, examples follow, beginning with what the authors – who are quintessential Frenchwomen/feminists – Anne, Audrey, Caroline, and Sophie describe as The Art of Making A Man Believe You Need Him.

“The secret of making a man know you need him:

“Of course you can open a bottle of wine by yourself.

“But let him do it.  That’s equality too.”

GENDER EQUALITY

The Frenchwomen I know believe in gender equality.

For example, I read the following quote from “How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are” to a female friend of mine who is a Parisienne:

“When it comes to driving, there’s only one rule the Parisienne follows: may the best driver win.

“Sometimes she’ll cut off a male driver, for the sake of gender equality; to prove that she too has balls.”

She replied:

“I have many balls.  That is probably why I can wear pants easily.

“I usually cut or race people with my car if they annoyed me or I think they had an inappropriate driving attitude to me, no matter what gender they have.”More Fun Witty and Often Wise Advice

More Fun Witty and Often Wise Advice

from Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie

 THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

“One must live with the opposite sex, not against them.  Except when making love.”

WE ALL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN

A stunningly beautiful intelligent and witty Frenchwoman, told me, after reading the original version of this post:

“I did not know that the reason behind men pouring you wine in your glass was to make you drunk quicker.  I’ll be careful next time!!!”

BE YOURSELF

In “How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are”, Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie quote the following statement made by Marcel Proust.

“When you work to please others you can’t succeed, but the things you do to satisfy yourself stand a chance of catching someone’s interest.” – Marcel Proust, PASTICHES ET MELANGES

I agree with the sentiment expressed by Marcel Proust in that statement.

That sentiment is dramatized in Chris Rock’s new movie “Top Five.”

In “Top Five”, the main character, albeit he is a fictional character, is true to himself, is true to who he really is.

The main character in “Top Five” doesn’t sell out to a desire to make money and/or to a desire to keep his fame.

He decides he wants to be a “serious actor” and although he is a successful comedian he goes for it.

The movie shows us what this fictional character has to (and/or might have to) give up in order to become who he wants to be.

Recently released movies, “The Theory of Everything” and “The Imitation Game”, also dramatize that theme.

Both “The Theory of Everything” and “The Imitation Game”  are about “real people.” –

“The Theory of Everything” is about Stephen Hawking.  “The Imitation Game” is about Alan Turing.

Stephen Hawking and Alan Turing never gave up being who they really are.

I believe Stephen Hawking has been fantastically successful and Alan Turing was so fantastically successful because each one of them took the time to figure out who he really is/was and what he really wants/wanted.

Each of these two movies (“The Theory of Everything” and “The Imitation Game”), in its own way, is an exceptional love story.

Each of these two movies is a positive testimony to the human spirit.

During their lifetime, while still young men, each one of these two men (Hawking and Turing) met a woman who was a unique match for him personally.

Hawking and Turing each love(d) each of these unique women with the greatest passion and sincere feelings for the rest of their lives.

These unique women, in turn, who would love them with equal passion and sincere caring for the rest of their lives.

You are invited to read my movie reviews of “Top Five”, “The Theory of Everything” and “The Imitation Game” posted on the “Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange Blog” at http://www.garysmolker.wordpress.com.

TAKE YOUR TIME

Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie advise:

• Take the time to ask yourself who you are and what you want.
• Take the time to listen and to get to know yourself.
• Take the time to change, to grow, to rest.
• Take the time to take the time because no one else will do it for you.

I wholeheartedly agree.

THE PLACE TO GO ON A SMART DATE

In “How to Be A Parisian Wherever You Are”, in addition to giving advice and making social commentary, Anne, Audrey, Caroline, and Sophie also ask and answer important questions.

For example, they ask the very important question: Why live life halfway?

Their advice: “Cultivate your allure.”

According to Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie, the place to go on a date is:

“A painting in front of which you arrange to meet your date so that he knows your true intentions.  For example: ‘LIBERTY LEADING THE PEOPLE’ by Delacroix: a woman not afraid to show her breasts.”

Musee du Louvre, 75001 Paris

WHAT WOMEN WANT

According to Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie:

“During the reigns of Louis XIII and XIV, some women of the court created a feminist movement to fight against the prevailing misogyny of the era.  These women sought tenderness and restraint.  They wanted to hear sweet nothings whispered in their ears – to be charmed and won over with wit and grace, before being whisked off to bed.

“The writer Madeleine de Scudery was the leader of this movement.  She drew a map of an imaginary country called Tenderness.  In order to reach the city of Love, one had to pass through several small villages, each one a step toward winning the heart of one’s beloved.”

It is my experience, in the industrialized world, that women of today still want that.

HOW TO HOST A DINNER PARTY

I believe to invite people to dine with us is to make ourselves responsible for their well-being as long as they are under our roof, that includes guiding  (provoking) them to talk about interesting topics.

I believe Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie agree with that sentiment too.

In their book (“How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are”), Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie advise that you do your utmost to avoid dinner parties with more than six guests around the table, and suggest that, if possible, you get the conversation with a controversial statement before dinner is served, provide examples of controversial topics to get the conversation flowing, suggest topics to discuss with the main course (as well as what to serve as a main course) and suggest and provide other topics to discuss with desert (as well as what to serve as desert), provide recipes for each dish and provide descriptions of games they suggest you should play together with your guests (and how to play them) after dinner.

I have my own ideas on how to dine with friends and guests.

See my (Gary S. Smolker’s) comments on dinning with friends and guests in my post entitled “The Pure Essence of the Good Life” posted on this blog (“The Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange Blog”, at http://www.garysmolker.wordpress.com) on December 9, 2011, an excerpt of which is quoted below.

THE WAY IN WHICH MEALS ARE ENJOYED IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE HAPPINESS OF LIFE.

If you want to experience the effect of gourmandism on happiness, I highly recommend eating a meal with someone who wishes to eat with joy who you wish to please and who wishes to please you or with a group of people who wish to please each other.

When gourmandism is shared by such people, as by eating a meal … by any … great chef  – or prepared by someone who loves you or prepared by you for someone you love – you will find it has the most marked influence, on the happiness which can be found in being with another person.

People who share the pleasure of the table have, at least on that occasion, a pleasant opportunity to be together; they have a subject of conversation which is forever new; they can talk not only of what they are eating, but also of what they have eaten, what they will eat, and what they have noticed at other tables if they are in a restaurant or cafe or bistro or bar or at a party in a private home; they can discuss fashionable dishes, new recipes, and so on and so on – whatever is on their mind.

It is well known that intimate table talk [CHITCHAT] is full of its own charm.

THE EFFECT OF GOURMANDISM ON SOCIABILITY

Quoting from “The Physiology of Taste” by Brillant-Savarin:

“Gourmandism is one of the most important influences in the social life; it gradually spreads the spirit of conviviality which brings together day-to-day differing kinds of people, melts them into a whole, animates their conversation, and softens the sharp corners of the conventional inequalities of position and breeding.

“It is gourmandism, too, which motivates the effort any host must make to take good care of his guests, as well as their own gratitude when they perceive that he has employed all his knowledge and tact to please them; and it is fitting at this very place to point out with scorn those stupid diners who gulp down in disgraceful indifference the most nobly prepared dishes, or who inhale with impious inattention the bouquet of a limpid nectar.”

General Rule: “Any preparation which springs from a high intelligence demands explicit praise, and a tactful expression of appreciation must always be made whenever it is plain that there is any attempt to please.”

 Controversial Political Statements

Anne, Audrey, Caroline and Sophie recommend that a dinner party begin with the discussion of a controversial political statement:

“If possible, get the [dinner party] conversation flowing with a controversial political statement.

– As a matter of fact, we’re witnessing a shift in the class struggle.  It’s no longer workers against employers; it’s about immigration.  And at the end of the day it’s the poor against the poor. 

– Capitalism has succeeded in its aim of making sure that the workers are no longer battling against those above them, but instead, those below them.  Marx was right all along.

– Explain to me the difference between the right and the left.

– It’s very simple!  For the right, if the individual thrives, so does society.  For the left, if society thrives, so does the individual.

Once the guests have stopped arguing and the conversation is beginning to thin, to avoid veering towards the topic of children [or the gender gap, marriage, or the Middle East, Islam, education or gun control] the hostess should suggest that everyone take their seats at the dinner table.

The portions should be generous and the table should look pretty.  Don’t forget the flowers.  Above all the cook should never appear stressed out – everything must look effortless.”

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In December, 2014, after the grand juries decided not to indict the police in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases, Columbia Law School Interim Dean Robert Scott announced to students that Columbia Law School will permit them to postpone finals due to trauma from grand jury results and will be providing counselling sessions to handle the “traumatic effects” of the non-indictments in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases.

When I mentioned this to “friends” I got fantastic results.

One friend wrote to me:

“What a crock!  If I were calling the shots at Columbia Law School I would make that ‘interim’ Dean Robert Scott reign would end by sundown.  He probably has a great need to go home to his Mother and nurse his trauma.”

Another friend wrote me:

“Pathetic!  Will the gutless pandering never cease?  Culturally we have gone off the deep end and are too stupefied to scream!!”

A third friend wrote to me:

“The Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases have been horrifying – not only for the events of the cases themselves but also the aftermath and the comments of the people around me.

“I have listened to white and non-white friends alike about their thoughts.  The white friends hae shown me in a vast group to be on the side of the police and ‘the law.’

“These events which have only solidified my loss of faith in cops and the law show us the direction our country is moving in – control people with force and violence so as to not shake the powers that be.

“At least Columbia Law School is recognizing the personal trauma law students are particularly facing.  If I was a law student at this time, I would be writing essays and cases studies that try to make fun of the law, the courts, and the people who are supposed to enforce it all by poking at philosophical holes.  I doubt I would be popular with my professors; at least, I would have my sanity.

“Despite my absence, I have been keeping up with your emails as I have time to read.  I hope we can meet up soon!  Sounds like you are doing well stirring the pot of ideas and encouraging engagement and critical thinking.  I may want my own school, but you are more than ready for yours!”

ITS GOOD TO KNOW HOW TO LOOK BEYOND YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS

In “Zero to One”, Peter Thiel (co-founder of PayPal) advises:

• “Because every innovation is new and unique, no authority can prescribe in concrete terms how to be innovative. Indeed, the single most powerful pattern I have noticed is that successful people find value in unexpected places, and they do this by thinking … [thinking  from first principles.]
• “Brilliant thinking is rare, but courage is in ever shorter supply than genius.
• “The most contrarian thing of all is not to oppose the crowd but to think for yourself.
• Be so good at what it is you/your company do/does that no other firm/person can offer a close substitute.
• Do not lose sight of competitive reality.
• In the real world, every business is successful exactly to the extent it does something others cannot.
• “The hazards of imitative competition may partially explain why individuals with an Asperger’s-like social ineptitude seem to be at an advantage in Silicon Valley today.  If you’re less sensitive to social cues, you’re less likely to do the same thing as everyone around you.
• “Success is never accidental.
• “Ralph Waldo Emerson captured this ethos when he wrote: ‘Shallow men believe in luck, believe in circumstances….Strong men believe in cause and effect.”
• Do not overrate the power of chance and underrate the power of planning.
• Determine the one best thing to do and then do it.
• Strive to be great at something substantive, to be a monopoly of one.
• Think for yourself.
• “Statistics don’t work when the sample size is one.
• “If you treat the future as something definite, it makes sense to understand it in advance and to work to shape it.  But if you expect an indefinite future ruled by randomness, you’ll give up on trying to master it.
• Why should you expect to succeed [or your own business to succeed] without a plan to make it happen?
• Make concrete plans for a better future.
• “A business with a good definite plan will always be underrated in a world where people see the future as random.
• You can change the world through careful planning, not by listening to focus group feedback or copying others’ success.
• Don’t expect your business to succeed without a plan to make it happen.
• “This extraordinary stark pattern, in which a small few radically outstrip all rivals, surrounds us everywhere in the natural and social world.
• “It does matter what you do.  You should focus relentlessly on something you’re good at doing, but before doing that you must think hard about whether it will be valuable in the future.
• “…total VC [Venture Capital] accounts for less than 0.2% of GDP.  But the results of those investments disproportionately propel the entire economy.  Venture-backed companies create 11% of all private sector jobs.  They generate annual revenues equivalent to an astounding 21% of GDP.  Indeed, the dozen largest tech companies were all venture-backed.  Together those 12 companies are worth more than $2 trillion, more than all other tech companies combined.”

Who Is Peter Thiel?

Here is a quote, from Peter Thiel’s book, “Zero to One”:

“The first team that I built has become known in Silicon Valley as the ‘PayPal Mafia’ because so many of my former colleagues have gone on to help each other start and invest in tech companies.  We sold PayPal to eBay for $1.5 billion in 2002.  Since then, Elon Musk ahs founded SpaceX and co-founded Tesla Motors; Reid Hoffman co-founded LinkedIn; Steve Chen, Chad Hurley and Jawed Karim together founded YouTube; Jeremy Stoppelman and Russel Simmons founded Yelp; David Sacks co-founded Yammer; and I co-founded Palantir.  Today all seven of those companies are worth more than $1 billion each.  PayPal’s office amenities never got much press, but the team has done extraordinary well, both together and individually: the culture was strong enough to transcend the original company. 

“We didn’t assemble a mafia by sorting through resumes and simply hiring the most talented people.  I had seen the mixed results of that approach firsthand when I worked at a New York law firm.  The lawyers I worked with ran a valuable business, and they were impressive individuals one by one.  But the relationships between them were oddly thin.  They spent all day together, but few of them seemed to have much to say to each other outside the office.  Why work with a group of people who don’t even like each other?  Many seem to think it’s a sacrifice necessary for making money.  But taking a merely professional view of the workplace, in which free agents check in and check out on a transactional basis, is worse than cold: it’s not even rational.  Since time is your most valuable asset, it’s odd to spend it working with people who don’t envision any long-term future together.  If you can’t count durable relationships among the fruits of your time at work, you haven’t invested your time well – even in purely financial terms.

“From the start, I wanted PayPal to be tightly knit instead of transactional.  I thought stronger relationships would make us not just happier and better at work but also more successful in our careers beyond PayPal.  So we set out to hire people who would actually enjoy working together.  They had to be talented, but even more than that they had to be excited about working specifically about working with us.  That was the start of the PayPal Mafia.”

Peter Thiel is an entrepreneur and inventor.  He started PayPal in 1998, led it as CEO, and took it public in 2002.

In 2004 he made the first outside investment in Facebook, where he serves as a director.

He has provided early funding for LinkedIn, Yelp and other technology startups.

He is a partner at Founders Fund, a venture capital firm that has funded companies like SpaceX and Airbnb.

Peter Thiel with Blake Masters is the author of “Zero to One” published in 2014.

He leads the Thiel Foundation, which encourages people to build a better future, to work to advance technological progress and long-term thinkg about the future.

CONCLUSION

Good living is an act of intelligence.

Don’t forget to daydream in the bath and to enjoy dinning with friends.

Copyright © 2014 by Gary S. Smolker