Tender Love by Gary Smolker

Tender Love

I saw “A Star is Born” Saturday night October 6, 2018.

It is a beautiful movie about two people who really love each other.

I cried while I watched the tenderness each of them displayed.

I cried while I watched how considerate they were.

Their lives were not easy.

Life is not easy.

They had each other and that made all the difference – that was worth more than anything else.

Intelligence vs. Consciousness

Intelligence is the ability to solve problems.  Consciousness is the ability to feel things such as pain, joy, love and anger.

I know a young woman whose parents insist that she get married and have babies. They keep pressuring her to get married.

Rich successful intelligent young men pursue her, propose marriage.

One young man told her he wanted to marry her because he wanted to have children and a family.

She refused to marry him because she has feelings.

She wants to marry a man who wants to marry her because he loves her, he cherishes her, he wants to take care of her, he is unselfish, he is loyal, he is compassionate, he is generous and she cherishes him and wants to take care of him too.

Her parents are outraged.  They want her to get married and have babies.

I am on her side.

She has judged each of her suitors on the basis of potential of life long social bonding.

I agree with her.

I think she should marry a man who loves her and cherishes her, and should not marry a man who only wants her for her baby creating potential.

Similarly, I think she should not marry a man who only wants her because she is beautiful, fun, intelligent eye candy and comes from a “good family.”

I believe she should stay away from pursuers/suitors who think it is of utmost importance that she comes from a family that has high social status and who think that it is of utmost importance that she has high social status.

Life Partner Decision Making

Feelings of attraction arise when biochemical algorithms calculate that a nearby individual offers a high probability of successful mating, social bonding, or some other coveted goal.

Unfortunately most people don’t know themselves very well or don’t know the person they are about to marry very well, use faulty culturally inculcated decision making formulas when making decisions, most people have muddled imprecise goal definitions and are often under tremendous pressure resulting from the situations they find themselves in while they are making a decision.

Life is full of chaos.

It is not easy to find relevant and trustworthy information.

Question: Who has time to always find relevant trustworthy information? Answer: No-one.

We will all make mistakes from having insufficient data.

I am on the side of the young woman who is “going with her feelings” about her suitors.

I am in agreement and on the side of the young woman who is making her decision about a marriage partner based on her desire to marry a man who she believes/feels she will cherish for her entire life and who she believes/feels will cherish her for his entire life.

Go See “A Star Is Born”!

Go see “A Star Is Born.”

“A Star Is Born” is a wonderful movie.

Watching the tender love the man and the woman in that movie had for each other made me cry.

Watching “A Star Is Born” will force you to pay attention to your own sensations; watching “A Star Is Born” will give you an idea of what our full human potential is.

Gary Smolker

 

Copyright © 2018 by Gary Smolker

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