Magical Women – by Gary S. Smolker
A Magical Night
Shortly after I arrived home at 11:30 p.m., on Monday night (August 1, 2016) I read a notice from Word Press informing me that thewearytravelers is now following my blog – “The Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange Blog.”
I clicked on the “About” button in the notice, then I clicked on the button for July, 2016.
Below are copies of three of the pictures that showed up.
By coincidence, before I read that notice, I had enjoyed a magical evening with a female friend which had began at 4:30 p.m. and lasted until 11:00 p.m.
Summer, Annecy, France
Colorful Canal, Venice, Italy
Forest Path, Madeira, Portugal
My Magical Evening
The woman I was with Monday night told me she had never laughed so much or so hard in her life.
She told me she was laughing so hard that her jaw hurt.
Time ran away from — We were drinking wine and eating dinner at a bar over-looking the ocean in in a sumptuous luxury hotel without a care in the world.
Before we knew it, it was 10:35 p.m.
My car was parked in the public parking lot at the Santa Monica Public Library which closes at 11:00 p.m.
I told my date we had to rush to her car in order to be able to quickly drive to the Santa Monica Public Library before the parking lot was locked up for the night.
We ran to her parked car.
She drove quickly to the Santa Monica Public Library.
I told her if we didn’t get to the parking lot in time, I would like her to drive me to my home in Van Nuys/Sherman Oaks and I will figure out how to get to Santa Monica the next morning to pick up my car.
Rushing to the Santa Monica Public Library parking lot with her driving was exhilarating.
We got to the parking lot at 10:53 p.m.
The next morning I called her on the phone.
I asked, “How was last night?”
She answered, “I laughed so much my jaw was hurting.”
During our date, she asked me if I needed to be put in a trance to subconsciously get to a heightened state of imagination.
The Next Day
I thought about that question all through the morning and early afternoon.
I then went back to thewearytravelers web site and clicked on the button for June 2016.
Below are copies of some of the pictures I saw posted in June.
The first picture is a photograph of a Forest Lane in Yorkshire, England.
The second picture is a photograph of the Mostar Bridge in Bosnia.
The third photograph is a picture of a festive street on the Isle of Crete, Greece.
Pictures like those posted above make my imagination soar.
The Genetic Lottery
Biochemistry determines whether you are a happy person or a gloomy person.
One a scale of one to ten, some people are born with a cheerful biochemical system that allows their mood to swing between levels six and ten, stabilizing with time at eight.
Other people are cursed with a gloomy biochemistry that swings between three and seven and stabilizes at five. Such an unhappy person remains depressed even if he or she enjoys the support of a tight-knit community, wins millions in the lottery and is as fit as an Olympic athlete. These people are always disgruntled though matter what gifts the world lays at their feet. When they get what they desire they are no happier. Getting what they want does not change their biochemistry.
Our mental and emotional world of “happiness” is governed by biochemistry, by various biochemical substances such as serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin cursing through our bloodstream and to a storm of electrical signals flashing between different parts of our brain programed to keep our “happiness levels” relatively constant.
The woman I was with last night is a happy person.
That made all the difference in the world with respect to how pleasant it was to be with her.
Psychological and Social Factors Have Their Place
The woman I was with is not a miserable person. That made it easy to have a magical night with her.
The woman I was with sees herself as living a meaningful and purposeful life. That made it easy to have a magical night with her.
Although happiness is determined mainly by biochemistry, psychological and social factors and “values” also have their place.
- Although, it is almost impossible to exceed the upper and lower emotional boundaries set by biochemistry and
- Although the keys to our happiness are in our biochemistry; and
- Although, the only way to make people happy over an extended period of time is to manipulate their biochemical system; and
- Although, to some extent, only changing/manipulating/tweaking our biochemistry can change our happiness; and
- Although, biochemically speaking, lasting happiness only comes from serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin;
There is also a cognitive and ethical component to happiness.
Happiness also consists of seeing one life’s in its entirety as meaningful and purposeful.
“As Nietzsche put it, if you have a why to live, you can bear almost any how. A meaningful life can be extremely satisfying even in the midst of hardship, whereas a meaningless life is a terrible ordeal no matter how comfortable it is.”
The woman I was with last night feels she is living a meaningful life. That made it very easy to have a magical evening with her.
The woman I was with last night has very reasonable and simple expectations. That made it extremely easy to have a wonderful evening with her.
Human Expectations Determine Level of Happiness
Happiness also depends on subjective expectations.
Being satisfied with what you already have is far more important than getting more of what you want.
The lady I was with last night is satisfied with what she has. That made it very easy to have a wonderful time.
Yuval Noah Harari discusses all of the above subtopics in his wonderful book “Sapiens – A Brief History of Humankind.”
Yuval Noah Harari discusses “lasting happiness” in great detail.
Harari reports that family and community seem to have more impact on our happiness than money and health.
The woman I was with last night has a good “family-situation.” That made it easy to have a good time with her.
Tranquilizers and Pain Killers
Harari writes: We moderns have an arsenal of tranquilizers and painkillers at our disposal but our expectations of ease and pleasure, and our intolerance of inconvenience and discomfort, have increased to such an extent that we may well suffer from pain more than our ancestors ever did.
The woman I was with last night is hale and hearty (very athletic), doesn’t expect to live a life of ease and pleasure, is happy to work, and is good at tolerating inconvenience and discomfort.
Nothing upset her. That made being with her very pleasant.
Laughter Is A Great Medicine
We laughed together for hours and hours and hours last night, so much so that her jaw hurt.
Copyright © 2016 by Gary S. Smolker, All Rights Reserved
Posted on August 2, 2016, in Lasting Happiness, Magical Women, Uncategorized, women, Women Who Are A Pain in the Ass and tagged "Sapiens - A Brief History of Humankind", a festive street on the Isle of Crete in Greece, a forest lane in Yorkshire England, A Forest Path in Madeira Portugal, Annecy France, biochemical substances serotonin dopamine and oxytocin, biochemical systems, cheerful people, Colorful Canal in Venice Italy, gloomy people, human expectations, Lasting Happiness, Magical Women, misery, the Mostar Bridge in Bosnia, women, Women Who Are A Pain in the Ass, Yuval NOah Harari. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.