You Can’t Cheat Reality – by Gary S. Smolker

People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them.  They went out and happened to things.

User Agreement

You can’t cheat reality.

Every attempts backfires in ways you don’t anticipate; the unanticipated consequence of backfire goes beyond far beyond your that if this doesn’t work that will happen.

Don’t try to cheat reality; it’s a failed proposition from the get go.

Respect reality.

Reality tries its damness to teach you to do the right thing.

What will happen to you if you try to cheap reality will be worse than being “bitch slapped.”

The author does not warrant any positive result will arise from use of anything stated in this guidance.

Most especially there is no guarantee of a happy result.


Guidance Number One

Don’t marry anyone under 40 years old.


  • If you don’t want to be autonomous.
  • If you want to procreate.
  • If you are so young that you have no concern about your future.

Guidance Number Two

Being married involves sacrifice.

Raising children and maintaining a marriage is complicated.

Don’t marry anyone who has children if you don’t want to be constantly sacrificing for the benefit of someone else’s child.

If you marry someone who already has a child you will be subject to many “outside forces” (as a result of the presence of that child in your life) that will block and overpower you.

Guidance Number Three

Don’t think getting involved doesn’t involve marriage.

Guidance Number Four

You need to confront aging and death.

Understand that as you age you become less attractive to the opposite sex; as you age you become more like furniture than a sex partner.


Recollect that as you walked down a street during different phases of your life the members of the opposite sex paid less and less attention to you.


Note that as you become older when  you walk down a street members of the opposite sex pays less and less attention to you.

Guidance Number Five

Never believe that money isn’t important.

Money is like water, it flows.

Guidance Number Six

BEWARE: The tiniest leak can sink the largest ship.

Guidance Number Seven

Don’t believe you can control access to your money.

Guidance Number Eight

BEWARE: Selfish has to do with values.

  • Most women with children will value their children more than they will value their husband.
  • Many men will value their career more than they will value their wife.
  • A secular culture tends to regard individuals as autonomous; it fails to provide a rationale for sacrifice for future generations or personal service for the disabled and the aged.
  • We all become subject to events that make our intentions pointless.
  • Our options are profoundly limited.

Guidance Number Nine

Middle-aged men have a perverse disinclination to accept that they are no longer sexually attractive.

Guidance Number Ten

The majority of men are in denial about their sexual attractiveness to women.

Guidance Number Eleven

Women often become resentful when they become less sexually attractive.

Guidance Number Twelve

Women rarely hook-up with men who are less wealthy then they.

Men often hook-up with women less wealthy than they.

Guidance Number Thirteen

If you have money it will flow to the other person’s indulgences.

Guidance Number Fourteen

You will not be in control.

Guidance Number Fifteen

To save yourself from a lot of grief, although it is impossible for most people to do so, proceed with caution and follow Guidance Number One and Guidance Number Two.


  • If you don’t follow these guidance principles, the number of complications and complexities in your life will grow exponentially.
  • Stubborn people refuse to accept the fact that they can’t control circumstances.
  • The bounty of all the poems and songs about relationships we enjoy so much, especially country and western songs, were written about people who didn’t follow the guidelines set forth above.
  • In order to have full employment of song writers, singers and musicians it is necessary for people to continue to fail to follow the guidance set forth above.


I believe in love, marriage, and having a family.

The things we love tell us what we are and who we are.

Man is not meant to be alone.

Men are meant to be with a woman.

Women are not meant to be alone.

Women are meant to be with a man.

METAPHOR: It is safe for a ship to be in a harbor.  But, a ship is not built to stay in a harbor.

To not dare is to have a wonderful relationship with a member of the opposite sex is to have already lost.

Be with someone who you enjoy being with and who enjoys being with you.

The way you treat other people and the way you treat yourself is the measure of who you are.

Seek to get into and then get into a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

Life has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts.

In order to achieve anything you must be willing to be creative and you must be willing to fail.

Creativity takes courage.

Never be afraid to fail.  That’s the first step to succeeding.

Life is all about who you become on the journey.

If you are willing to accept less than your best effort, you will never maximize your potential.


Being a father is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Being the father of my three daughters is a source of endless joy to me.

Below is a picture of my grown-up daughter Judi practicing ballet when she was a young girl.


Below is a picture of my daughter Terra dancing with me at her wedding reception.


Below is a picture of my daughter Terra during the religious ritual ceremony at her Bats Mitzvah.



Below is a picture of me cutting the loaf of bread we all shared at the reception.


Below is a picture of my sister and her two daughters dancing at the reception, a party which followed the religious ritual.


Below are pictures of some of our men friends dancing at Terra’s Bats Mitzvah party.






Below is a blown-up picture of Leah’s face and the full-length picture of my daughter Leah going somewhere, when Leah was five years old.

Since the picture below was taken, Leah has traveled to thirty countries.





The guideline information provided above is the result of a private survey of veterans of human relationship folly and the joys of being married and having children.

Copyright © 2016 Gary S. Smolker, All Rights Reserved



About Gary S. Smolker

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: No enterprise can exist for itself alone. Every successful enterprise ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others. Otherwise, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist. Imagination, open mindedness and flexibility are the most important factors in unlocking potential. Those who embrace innovation, improvisation, continuous learning, time management, are action oriented, high energy, passionate, creative, purposeful and intense individuals are best equipped to succeed. We all have ideas and the ability to make progress by sharing information and our ideas and also by changing our ideas when appropriate. We should always be on the lookout for teaching and mentoring moments. We hold time like water in our hands; however tightly we clench our fingers, it drips away. But, if it falls on a seed, a seed may grow to become something that will have a positive social impact. PERSONAL INTERESTS: I have a passion to learn, to innovate, to lead, to mentor and to teach. I seek to write things worth reading and want to do things worth writing about. I enjoy (a) driving a fast car, (b) having intense conversations (c) teaching/mentoring, (d) reading and (e) being involved in productive activity. PERSONAL: I believe in cultivating and backing passionate people, innovation, and old fashioned good ideas. I love making human connections and spreading good ideas. I am strongly motivated to achieve in situations in which independence of thought and action are called for. PERSONAL GOALS: I want to live life vibrantly, to be as sharp as a tack until my last breath and to change the world by being me. My personal goal is to be fully engaged in life, to lead by example, to set high standards and to continue to amass firsthand experience and knowledge in all that interests me. PERSONALITY: I love fun and mischief. I relish absurdity. I have an irreverent, facetious and satiric disposition. I dread boredom. I have spent a lifetime reading. I have no bias against people who have lived successful and/or complicated lives. I write to release tension, to get things off my chest. SOCIAL MEDIA: I post articles on the "Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange" blog at, and "Dude's Guide to Women's Shoes" at I also post images and comments on Instagram @garyspassion. CONTACT INFORMATION: Gary Smolker, Smolker Law Firm, 16055 Ventura Blvd., Ste 525, Encino, California, 91436-2609, USA. Phone 1-818-788-7290, e-mail

Posted on February 14, 2016, in maximizing your potential, the flow of money, The Joys of Family Life, wealth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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