“Good Listening Habits” by Gary S. Smolker

Thought for the day:  Good Listening Is Like Having Great Sex. Listen With Delight!



Getting into the other person’s mind and feelings is the key to good listening.


If you rush past what other people find hard to express you will lose opportunities to learn what drives them.


Most people don’t listen because they have other things they would rather do, or they are so focused on their own needs that they literally can’t listen.  Or, they are so keen to speak they can’t hear.


Your  listening needs to be slow and reflective rather than fast and rushed if you want to influence other people.


If you rush you may miss a point that would change everything.


Good listening requires staying present, requires staying connected to the other person’s point of view despite seemingly irreconcilable differences.


Listening is always a choice based on how important it is for you to make a connection.


Good listening will always make you smarter and will earn you strong and broad connections to any other person you wish to work with.


The only way to experience life is from a subjective point of view.


Slow down long enough to imagine the other person’s experiences.


People can tell when you don’t respect them.


Respect the people (or person) you want to influence.


There are no emotionless environments.


Good listening is like having great sex:  Where there is desire, skills will follow.


Holding your thoughts and desires while you fully experience another’s point of view without judgment is the key to good listening, the key to winning the hearts and minds of other people and is also the key to having great sex.


Mindless speed and narrow self-indulgent focus will cause you to lose opportunities.


Prove that you aren’t deaf or blind or self-obsessed.


Always listen with delight.






Copyright © 2015 by Gary S. Smolker

About Gary S. Smolker

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: No enterprise can exist for itself alone. Every successful enterprise ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others. Otherwise, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist. Imagination, open mindedness and flexibility are the most important factors in unlocking potential. Those who embrace innovation, improvisation, continuous learning, time management, are action oriented, high energy, passionate, creative, purposeful and intense individuals are best equipped to succeed. We all have ideas and the ability to make progress by sharing information and our ideas and also by changing our ideas when appropriate. We should always be on the lookout for teaching and mentoring moments. We hold time like water in our hands; however tightly we clench our fingers, it drips away. But, if it falls on a seed, a seed may grow to become something that will have a positive social impact. PERSONAL INTERESTS: I have a passion to learn, to innovate, to lead, to mentor and to teach. I seek to write things worth reading and want to do things worth writing about. I enjoy (a) driving a fast car, (b) having intense conversations (c) teaching/mentoring, (d) reading and (e) being involved in productive activity. PERSONAL: I believe in cultivating and backing passionate people, innovation, and old fashioned good ideas. I love making human connections and spreading good ideas. I am strongly motivated to achieve in situations in which independence of thought and action are called for. PERSONAL GOALS: I want to live life vibrantly, to be as sharp as a tack until my last breath and to change the world by being me. My personal goal is to be fully engaged in life, to lead by example, to set high standards and to continue to amass firsthand experience and knowledge in all that interests me. PERSONALITY: I love fun and mischief. I relish absurdity. I have an irreverent, facetious and satiric disposition. I dread boredom. I have spent a lifetime reading. I have no bias against people who have lived successful and/or complicated lives. I write to release tension, to get things off my chest. SOCIAL MEDIA: I post articles on the "Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange" blog at www.garysmolker.wordpress.com, and "Dude's Guide to Women's Shoes" at www.dudesguidetowomensshoes.com. I also post images and comments on Instagram @garyspassion. CONTACT INFORMATION: Gary Smolker, Smolker Law Firm, 16055 Ventura Blvd., Ste 525, Encino, California, 91436-2609, USA. Phone 1-818-788-7290, e-mail GSmolker@aol.com.

Posted on May 31, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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