Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin – by Gary S. Smolker
Posted by Gary S. Smolker
ONLY YOU CAN BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN
We are living in a time of large scale social change, marked by creativity, innovation, questioning of authority, rugged individualism, concern for self, the emancipation of women, changing demographics, wide scale use of smart phones and many other significant life style transformations.
Today, people are devoting significant amounts of their personal time and energy focused on themselves. Many people are making strong efforts to take charge of their own individual future.
Today, a developing emphasis on the individual and individual responsibility is growing, the power of authority over the individual is constantly being questioned and reassessed, the traditional authority relationship between men and women – granting authority to the men – is undergoing change and scrutiny, and there are significant changes in the racial educational and economic composition of the population in the United States.
The increased emphasis on the individual cannot be over emphasized.
Concern for individualism has vigorously appeared.
Today, compared to times past, women have attained a great deal more responsibility and freedom.
As a result of having more freedom and responsibility women have themselves come to question their traditional family and social roles and reciprocally, males have raised similar questions about male-female relationships.
As women move out of confinement to the domicile, they experience new outlets and opportunities, demand power/empowerment, respect and “equality”, and are more and more interested in change.
Improvements in methods of contraception and the increase in experiential access to opportunities outside of the home have released women for participation in new roles and functions as never before.
As a consequence of “women’s liberation”, on-going debates on issues of gender and racial equality; the government’s ever growing increase of public debt and social change, including laws regarding contraception and birth control; a cascade of new technologies; and, being bombarded by an avalanche of messages, visual images of massive disintegration of society, a steady stream of information and misinformation and ideas; and, as a result of being constantly exposed to loud acrimonious debates over different points of view, it has become impossible for anyone to live in solitude or in the past.
People Are Tired of Being Talked To, They Want to Be Talked With
The mega-trends that are shaping our times have massively accelerated.
One mega-trend is that there has been a seismic shift from presentation to participation in many areas of daily life. People are fed up with being talked-down-to.
The shift from presentation to participation means that the days of the Gods, sitting up on Mt. Olympus and telling us how things are and what to do, are long gone or rapidly coming to an end.
People are tired of being talked to they want to be talked with.
Today, people can use technology to search for information and to have a global conversation.
People are hyper-connected: As a result of our use of the Internet and other communications technologies we all engaged in a global conversation.
We are using technology to connect with others – not just with people we already know, but with people who have similar or related interests that resonate with us – and not just to search for information.
In fact, it is estimated that 3 billion more people will join the Internet’s community by 2020.
Everyone’s perceptual space, expectations, life style and peace of mind has been shaken up.
Taking Care of Your Body and Mind
Understand Your MD’s Behavior
Take responsibility for your own life.
Mind Expanding Experiences
Another one of my MDs friends further explained to me why there is such a pronounced lack of creativity and innovation in the medical profession as follows:
- “Most MDs are one trick ponies.”
- This friend (a highly acclaimed MD – who does not practice one trick pony medicine) further explained to me – “If you only know how to use a hammer, everything is a nail.”
Energizing the Minds of Physicians
Is It True that Physicians Are “Poor” Businessmen/Have No Business Sense?
- (1) How many physicians practicing medicine have thought about what practicing medicine has done to the functional capacity of that “muscle” in their head called their brain as a result of lack of mentally stressful mind-strength building exercise in their daily lives?
- (2) How many care?
- By the way: “Scientific” experiments demonstrate that use of the brain builds neural networks that enable the brain to process information faster and more efficiently. In other words, using your brain makes you smarter, increases brain function.
- The old saying “use it or lose it” applies to brain function.
GIANTS IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION
There are giants in the medical profession who are human wonders.
Also, the conventional make-up of the scientific and educational background, personality, values and world-view of a growing number of people in the medical profession is changing.
I am meeting a physician this afternoon at the check in area of jetBlue at Logan Airport in Boston before I fly back to LAX, Los Angeles International Airport.
This physician has an open mind, but that description seriously understates the reality, which is that he is totally curious and eager to learn and asks question after question.
This morning my daughter and son-in-law took my ten year old grandson to be examined by a retina specialist and a trauma eye surgeon for a follow-up examination.
The first thing the retina specialist and eye surgeon said when he saw my grandson was: “I know how to make toys. Would you like to see me make toys?”
The surgeon then proceeded to make an origami hopping frog and a flying helicopter. He precisely folded pieces of paper and precisely tore pieces of paper with his own fingers.
When he was done those pieces of paper had been transformed into a hopping frog and a flying helicopter.
This is a true story – someone with that dexterity and people skill actually practices medicine as an eye surgeon in Boston.
He is an expert in the retina of the eye.
The rest of the members of the clinical medical team have extraordinary expertise and are just as kind and as extremely accomplished and competent physicians as the toy making eye surgeon who made toys for my grandson just before examining his retina early this morning.
Males Being Rebuffed by Stunning Women
- Believe they will prove their worth to their parents by being an MD. They psychologically are not well formed or mature adults. To the contrary, they will have a never compelling need to obtain their parents’ approval, the approval of the rest of their family and of their community and her approval by being a money making machine.
- The feeling of lack of worth has been so consuming in their lives that nothing short of overwhelming financial success will make them feel acceptable.
It is her opinion that those young men are unhappy and will always be unhappy.
For all the reasons listed above, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with any of those young suitors.
One beautiful smart successful woman explained her mindset: She is revolted at being cast in the role being a dynamic businessman’s Gucci purse.
She is revolted at being a prestige high status decoration.
Another beautiful smart successful woman explained to me that the pressure of being phony – while accompanying her successful husband at ‘society events: While at parties and social events the amount of phony interest she must display and being forced to be entertaining she is is too emotionally exhausting.
She would rather stay home and watch TV than go to another party in the star studded world she lives in. The routine of being a member of high society is maddening. Doing the same thing day after day, year after year, is maddening to her. She cannot imagine anything more boring than living her present high society life.
The routines people in her social circle have taken up are tasteless.
She is a rugged individualist, who is physically fit and intellectually cultured, who can’t stand the “over-civilized life” she is forced to live.
The boorishness and meaninglessness of her existence tests the very limits of her endurance.
She is resolved to escape her present life.
These women know who they are and who they want to be in a very fundamental way.
- They have self knowledge.
They are dedicated to protecting their dignity in their money-driven every day world where their souls and status as a person are constantly under attack.
- They realize how precarious the balance is between creation and annihilation and destruction in the life they lead and in the business world they and the men in their lives inhabit.
- In that world everyone always is seeking investors and to make more money.
- In such a world everyone feels they must “look” successful. They must spend a lot of money on clothing and cars and houses and jewelry, etc. etc. etc.
- However, the “thinking” women described above – who are moving towards becoming the persons they want to be, and have understood who they are and the psychodynamic forces at play in the world work – don’t want to be emotionally and financially dependent on a man or to be his “eye candy.”
- They are not hostile or bitter or resentful.
- Nor do they have destructive feelings.
- They know what they want.
- They want to be loved and to love; they want to receive bliss and to give bliss.
- They want to give and receive care and nurturance.
- They are not fickle.
- Their sexuality and emotions are inextricably intermingled.
- Their bodies wear the smile of accomplishment; they emote a subjective sense of freedom.
SOCIAL STATUS AND NUMBING OF A PHYSICIAN’S BRAIN
- Cal Tech students have the highest SAT scores —
- Additionally, it is a small elite school. There are only 1,000 undergraduates, 1,000 graduate students and a faculty of 1,000.
- This leads to lots of interaction between students with one another and with faculty which is prized by everyone.
- The faculty wants to teach the most brilliant students.
- The most brilliant students want to be taught by the most brilliant faculty and to interact with other brilliant students.
- The amount of interest in entrepreneurship at Wharton is just crazy.
- Historically the school has been associated with careers in finance and consultancy.
- For the first time, more Wharton students are interested in starting companies than in buying them.
- A growing number of Wharton graduates are willing to trade wing tips, three-star Manhattan restaurants and Tribeca lofts for sneakers, take-out pizza and sleeping under their desks as they race to get a product out the door.
- In fact more members of the Wharton graduating class of 2013 started a company than joined a hedge fund.
About Gary S. SmolkerPERSONAL PHILOSOPHY: No enterprise can exist for itself alone. Every successful enterprise ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others. Otherwise, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist. Imagination, open mindedness and flexibility are the most important factors in unlocking potential. Those who embrace innovation, improvisation, continuous learning, time management, are action oriented, high energy, passionate, creative, purposeful and intense individuals are best equipped to succeed. We all have ideas and the ability to make progress by sharing information and our ideas and also by changing our ideas when appropriate. We should always be on the lookout for teaching and mentoring moments. We hold time like water in our hands; however tightly we clench our fingers, it drips away. But, if it falls on a seed, a seed may grow to become something that will have a positive social impact. PERSONAL INTERESTS: I have a passion to learn, to innovate, to lead, to mentor and to teach. I seek to write things worth reading and want to do things worth writing about. I enjoy (a) driving a fast car, (b) having intense conversations (c) teaching/mentoring, (d) reading and (e) being involved in productive activity. PERSONAL: I believe in cultivating and backing passionate people, innovation, and old fashioned good ideas. I love making human connections and spreading good ideas. I am strongly motivated to achieve in situations in which independence of thought and action are called for. PERSONAL GOALS: I want to live life vibrantly, to be as sharp as a tack until my last breath and to change the world by being me. My personal goal is to be fully engaged in life, to lead by example, to set high standards and to continue to amass firsthand experience and knowledge in all that interests me. PERSONALITY: I love fun and mischief. I relish absurdity. I have an irreverent, facetious and satiric disposition. I dread boredom. I have spent a lifetime reading. I have no bias against people who have lived successful and/or complicated lives. I write to release tension, to get things off my chest. SOCIAL MEDIA: I post articles on the "Gary S. Smolker Idea Exchange" blog at www.garysmolker.wordpress.com, and "Dude's Guide to Women's Shoes" at www.dudesguidetowomensshoes.com. I also post images and comments on Instagram @garyspassion. CONTACT INFORMATION: Gary Smolker, Smolker Law Firm, 16055 Ventura Blvd., Ste 525, Encino, California, 91436-2609, USA. Phone 1-818-788-7290, e-mail GSmolker@aol.com.
Posted on June 25, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged abilities, accomplishment, adore, anguish, arrogance, authority, authority relationship between men and women, authority relationships, baby bust, big picture, bigger picture, birthrate, births, bliss, bordom, borring, brain atrophy, brain dead, brillant people, building a knowledge supply chain, Cal Tech, care, caring and nurturance, cherish, civilization, communication technologies, constant cascade of new technologies, creative minds, creative orientation and ability, creativity, creativity and madness, cultural sea change, delusions, dignity, dynamic minds, empowered population, entrepreneurship, existing hierarchy, fantasies, fantasies of greatness, feelings, feelings of lack of worth, feelings of worthlessness, fickle, fight for dominance, freedom, full human potential, goals, greatness, grounded decisions, happiness, harmonizing body and mind, hubris, human dimension of care, human potential, husbands, insecurities, insecurity, insight, Internet, issues of gender equality, issues of racial equality, large scale social change, life style, life-balance, limits of endurance, long-term value, love, male perogatives, male prerogatives, male-female relationship, marital conflict, meaningless, medicine, mind function, mindset, money obessed culture, obtaining pragmatic goals, one trick pony mind, over-civilization, parenthood, participation, peace and harmony, peace of mind, perceptual space, points of view, potential, power, power in relationships, preoccupations, presentation of ideas, presentation of information, prize, prostitute, prostitution, psychodynamic forces, psychological state, purposeful pursuit of integrated knowlege, raw talent, relationships, replacement rate, routine, rugged individualism, rugged individualist, self-creation, self-destruction, self-destructiveneness, self-expression, self-knowledge, self-worth, sense of freedom, smart people, social change, social media, starting a business, status decoration, talking down to people, tasteless, the insatiably curious approach to life, the practice of medicine, the precarious balance between creation and destruction, the precarious balance between self-creation and self-destruction, thinking minds, tolerate ambiguity, tortured souls, tripping point, victory over incredible odds, Wharton, Wharton graduates, WHARTON Magazine, wives, women's liberation, work/life integration. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.